29 October 2010

In the dark where I belong, 
there I shall find comfort to live peacefully, 
there I shall find love and acceptance. 
To the underworld, 
keeps for the fallen angels, 
the lost souls wonders, 
crying out to an ocean with no horizon. 

There is no ending, 
neither will your scream be heard, 
testament of your strength will be challenged, 
it is coming, 
and it should be, 
nothing but an empty tank at the end of the day.

There will be no tomorrow, 
there shan't be, 
for which you'll resent tomorrow anyway, so does today. 
Pleasing the lord of mercy, 
faithful to your own, 
left drifting through the wind. 
Be in the rain,
 the air that I breathe.

You shan't be found...

24 October 2010

Tearing Him Away

Free from restraint, nothing to lose is equivalent to numbness, given the leaving of power one can offer. What is another passage to the heaven gateway, the last open closed door, the metaphorical devil that prevent us from soaring. 

The quicksand is heavier than I thought, denser with every steps I take, as I inhale another breath of air, I exhale another inch of despair, like my wings on me has lost its purpose. I know it'd be about time, where everyone has to go back to where they came from, where life takes place in the memories of the living, in the heart of death. 

Suggestion can no longer fit this much I know, I feel it in my guts with each step I take, I sink deeper. You'll see me struggle, but that will be useless because all you can do is watch, intriguing enough, death seems harmless. I am the power to let power go, I'm clearer now, the past will be my future, like I've never been born, like I'm still under the devoted care and love from my mother.

What I thought I might have, has no control over what I don't know. The sun is setting, this however lost it's sparks in amusement, we cannot alter the way we feel anymore, the decision is gone, it changed everything, for the least, for the best.
I know it first hand because what I know this is not what I chose to learn again, acquaintances wear masks, disguise in a form of discretion. Believing in what not to believe, present themselves in a world full of anxiety, endless uncertainty. 

The cloud darkened, the cycle continues as the storm arrived, better days will disappear in front of you, blowing at all direction.

How it is not worth saving?

19 October 2010


  1. The act of isolating or the condition of being isolated
  2. The quality or condition of being isolated. 

My beginning of wonderment, into the Galaxy far far away, enough to look down upon earth gratefully, but close enough to know that I am, still tie down by obligation. Obligation, the solid confinement that one was given from the day he was born. Overcome such duties are not exchangeable, nor can be simply ignore. 

Fundamentally, we are all suffering, whether you like it or not, life is selfish, it's like watching Avatar, everything intertwined so closely that sometimes we couldn't fathom.

Life is great, life is coincidences coming together to piece the puzzle which everything will eventually form a gigantic picture of truth, the nature of truth, the defining truth. The way we handle truth, however deter how we suppose to not think about because the nature of it, none of us can really accept. We live in a world of tolerance and harmony; it can be genuine if you believe so. 

I don't hate truth, truth is what we need, so does obligation. These make us human as we are smart and dumb, good and evil at the same time. It's hard to tell because your peace of mind is always twirling in between an arguments, distracted.

On the other hand, where the freedom of expression, the state of seclusion and isolation is almost seductive. Edgeless border keeping us from knowing what will it be like to have your own mind, the one which I long for; the ideal world in desertion which is safe from everyone else. Imagine a world with you and I kept safe in a jar, not knowing what is outside, the curiosity builds yet all you wanted is to be happy, because soon you'll detect the feeling of chaos when you try to find out.

Like the Galaxy where there's zero gravity, your brain has no control but to surrender to higher authority, the mysterious planets being and the unknown. True contentment and understanding of what you have tried to be, to love you first and you only...

"i find the safe
hidden in the corner

my isolation
loneliness grows

they don't even know
that I exist..."

17 October 2010

Perfect $tranger

I have no interest in fame. It may seem like it's ideally formulated in our culture, popularity begin searching for their prey. Telling people what to like and what not to like, somehow has left the question of why do we even bother, the beautiful imperfection, the bittersweet reality.

Don't get me wrong, fame can be useful in ways one can only imagined. Tainted souls grabs on to fame like their own lives, the importance is beyond repair. Never wanting to let go, do what it takes to top themselves, finally enjoyed the hard-earned attention they desperately needed. While others use it for good, to charity organizations, to the less fortunate. Don't we all need some?

It's not just for us to judge because taste of fame is addictive, the pleasure of living in denial, when fantasy turns into reality, the money and fortune that comes with it, why not right?

I don't hate money, I'm in no position to hate money, even a hippie could use some cash. All I was saying is the truth behind what most people don't see or forget. I was asked once “Aren’t you afraid I might steal your money?” I pulsed for a second, wondered why the question was being asked in the first place, have we loss our defying human decency, to ought to be good, to treat each other with respect anymore?

Surely you must think why am I making it a big deal; I'll tell you if I say I have no absolute certainty that I might be wrong. Then I said “By all means..." Like I've mentioned, I'm no hippie y'know, this is not 1970s, money makes the world go round, I say that apologetically. However, I have to point out what I believe in must not stood in the way of what I've work so hard for. That everyone deserves an A for putting their effort on a project despite being criticized harshly. 
How am I to argue otherwise?

We've all seen Stars consumed in the dark, lost space, trapped. Time will not turn back, don't bother waiting, you are what you are today and as second passes, you are moving forward. If I could tell you how much fame means to me, I'm telling you nothing.

To, not let money get in the way...cheers.

12 October 2010

Head Held High

Rediscovered Des'ree's brave anthem, look yourself in the mirror and ask why.
Why is it important to stay grounded.
Why is it okay for you to be mean to others.
Why can't we all just get along.
Rhetorical questions...
The Whys exists, somehow or another.
I think we know.

10 October 2010


At what point of backstabbing worth the awakening of truth? 

I asked myself that question for many times on repeat, I figured no one really knows. 
The straight forward way to tell someone how you feel is being truthful, the devotional kind of pouring your heart out, trusting the other person. 
It may be your dearest friends, close family members, it cannot stray away from the fact you trust them enough not to tell others.

However, when do we stop, though? 
Where is the "How to stop yourself from backstabbing for idiots" when we need one?

I believe when the conscious is clear, you have facts to back you up, hence you don't have to feel sentimental about telling on people, NO WAY! Then again, the moral dilemma beg to differ, Angel in disguise, saying no to talking shits behind people's back; this will guide you towards the path of injustice, disruption, chaos and the end of equality.

The theory is simple, you back-stabbed someone, but you are close enough to tell that someone you talk shit regardless how that someone feels, you told anyway. The point is what if you're talking shit because you care, the need to express your view overtakes your moral dignity, and do you still do it?

No one feels like they are having fun unless they hate the person that much, to chose between your sanity and the worth talking about shits, is it worth your time, or does it not?

Whatever it has become, the sense of satisfaction mixed guilt is priceless, I'm just saying.