Sunset Avenue

35 °C mid afternoon carrying a harassing dense breeze. 
Short breathes slowly, slurping a sachet of English Breakfast. 

Hot tea on a weather like this? 
And it was almost like I was demanding for some unsolved mystery of the universe, 
perspiration answered the untold question me for me. 

Blink of an eye, my stomach hurts. My guts thumped heavily, why not. I was lost in thoughts, searching for a way out when a powerful door slam jolted for my attention. 

It's the weather, grey and pale and restless, unpredictable as weather should be. 
As life should be.

Not In Wonderland Anymore Alice

When vulnerability checks in. Seldom, but adequate amount in recent memory, too soon as I started recalling. It never should've left. It takes that one negative notion to plug into the inner beyond reach territory where I thought time has accomplished itself by erasing the rotten and sordid side. Just like I thought, a bell of reminder rings.

"Hi, remember me? I thought I lost you but you came back for me after all". By now I should know that tears cannot exist because it didn't, panting, I ran out of breath. Endlessly aching, unconsoled.

daed sgniht

 

I'm so low I could do a 10 minute free-fall off the edge of a dime...

Never mind the amount of audacity I had to challenge gods free-will to protect, serve and cater to his faithful believers. The will to live is adjacent to my strength as fragility is too visible to conceal.

Bulletproof, the human body is designed to withstand all sorts of harm, it's designed to conquer and dominate. It heals itself so we could feel better, on the outside to you to everyone.

Unwind a few years back before all creative efforts was derided, there were these few good years I thought I had it good. That somehow neon bright lights, birds chirping, strangers smile was what I needed to get by. 

Things went for the twisted turns when you thought you had life figured out, as though I plunged into the ocean like I couldn't face another day, in this case another breath. Diving deeper seemed to be conclusively attractive. 

As far as one could go, I glared down at me wondered how I got this far how much I had conquered. Dying now proves much effort to stay alive for someone else. 

Who'd that be.

For Now & A While, Eternity

I write this because I'm fully healed. 

.

You don't know it for sure, do you?

Sure I do, I'm fine.

Your looks might be, but you're a utter mess inside. Completely chaotic.

Bitter and insensitive comments are not welcome but thanks.

So is your false pretence and waves of denial, you're welcome. Now listen to me.

No.

You ought to, need to.

I don't want to.

Trust me.