24 December 2012

Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned

There is no eloquent way to say this, so here it is. 

I loath you with every cells existence in my body being, your loneliness is a load of bullshit as compared to my misery.
I wish for your sake your loneliness could disappear, but there comes a time when you don't even deserve a slightest shred of clemency. Therefore no, you shall be lonely and depressed with no one by your side till your very last breath. 

I have a fantasy of the things I will do on the day you die and you will die, eventually. When the day comes, I wouldn't feel bad that you have found your way home. Sort of.

I remembered the first time you told me not to be some creature that will dishonor you to your friends. Sure. You sternly warned me with your right hand grabbing my shirt like a blood mafia, demanded normality. Such hostile threat that came from you, even I had to admit that I was impressed you still have your balls. 

There are bad memories that I will erase from my life, but that wasn't one of them. The way you treated women with unimaginable violence or that you simply 'check out' from your obligatory duty as and when it pleases you. Forgiveness is not an option anymore.

Words could only express so much hatred I have for you, it takes my entire being to hate someone and It's the worst feeling in the world. I won't forgive you for this because I'm trapped in your game and now I'm just a player.

"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 
I am no longer worthy to be called your son."