Something Borrowed, Something Blue

There is never a time to think it's perfectly fine to quit something, especially when it is almost like a chore that you mustn't fail to complete. 

But somehow along the way the word got lost, vision of your hopes and what it should be isn't like you dreamed. It is indistinctly familiar, vaguely memorable, then slowly the notion vanishes like it hadn't been there before.

You know the worst of the worst that comes right after, words of encouragement like "A winner never quits, a quitter never wins", "When the going get tough, the tough get going" and "Success is the best revenge"

Correction: "REVENGE is the best revenge"

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Lie with me.

The edge of your empty heart, defeated.

All that you are is lesser in the light of your lies. 

"Fiction, when we're not together
Mistaken for a vision, something of my own creation
I wake up alone, with only daylight between us
Last night the world was beneath us, tonight comes, dear love
Were we torn apart by the break of day?
You're more than I can believe, would ever come my way

Fiction, when we're not together
Mistaken for a vision, something of my own creation
Come real love, why do I refuse you?
Cause if my fear's right, I risk to lose you
And if I just might wake up alone
Bring on the night

Fiction, when we're not together
Mistaken for a vision, something of my own creation
Any certainties, how am I to tell?
I know your face all too well, still I wake up alone

Fiction, when we're not together"

You were saying?

Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned

There is no eloquent way to say this, so here it is. 

I loath you with every cells existence in my body being, your loneliness is a load of bullshit as compared to my misery.

I wish for your sake your loneliness could disappear, but there comes a time when you don't even deserve a slightest shred of clemency. Therefore no, you shall be lonely and depressed with no one by your side till your very last breath. 

I have a fantasy of the things I will do on the day you die and you will die, eventually. When the day comes, I wouldn't feel bad that you have found your way home. Sort of.

I remembered the first time you told me not to be some creature that will dishonor you to your friends. Sure. You sternly warned me with your right hand grabbing my shirt like a blood mafia, demanded normality. Such hostile threat that came from you, even I had to admit that I was impressed you still have your balls. 

There are bad memories that I will erase from my life, but that wasn't one of them. The way you treated women with unimaginable violence or that you simply 'check out' from your obligatory duty as and when it pleases you. Forgiveness is not an option anymore.

Words could only express so much hatred I have for you, it takes my entire being to hate someone and It's the worst feeling in the world. I won't forgive you for this because I'm trapped in your game and now I'm just a player.

"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 
I am no longer worthy to be called your son."

Paradise Falls

If given a superpower of your choice, what would you choose..

The most common ones being telepathy, the ability to fly and invisibility. It's not rocket science to know which power I'll choose. Always ended up in such foul mood, sometimes it's so hard to wake up to realize that I'm still alive and I could see the sun rays and hear the strange noise inside my head telling me horrible things that I already knew. 
It just won't let up.

It's safe to say that with the activity happening in my head, the obvious power to eliminate is telepathy. Even if I could do it, my heart would be spent living in constant paranoia, terrify to hear what awful things you might have to say about me. 

How about leaping into the vast blue sky and stay forever free, sure. Flying away is choosing to be free in the wild any time it pleases you, it somehow suggest the very  question of existence. As you might have figured, 'existing' isn't my strongest suit.

Have you ever looked into someone's eyes, someone you respect immensely and got a sense of disdain back. It doesn't have to be a lecture, an impassive sentence of disagreement, or a single word of advice. The look says it all. At the moment you wished you hadn't disappointed anyone and just fly away instead. 

That left me with Invisibility. A personal favorite which I think could go well with the invisible cloak that I've been working on. When life gets hard sometimes, slowly drift off to a place that only you could understand. Over there, you'd never felt so belong, like sunset and breaking dawn are all in the same all day long. 

It is exotic, it is beautiful, nothing like you have ever seen. There, you see the deceased family members too. Your father, aunt, grandmother... like the few pieces of puzzle you've been trying to locate but always seems to miss.

Nothing could feel so potent and yet futile, disappearing could mean the world even for a  little while.