Money Is The Anthem God You're So Handsome

Or do you not think so far ahead.

A life without meaning, a sense of lost belonging, breaking tradition and superstition to utter such nonsense on my birthday.

I wish I was never born. 

"We need fantasy to survive because reality is too difficult..." ~ Anonymous 

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I could hear an underwhelming soundtrack playing in the background, everywhere I looked every person I speak to I could hear it. 

You know sometimes when you're having these casual unexpected conversation with a friend, in between sentences you tried to make a point after he/she has just did. Wanting it badly, you say something dumb, just so it could end and both of you could get on back with your lives.

Imagine in between those silent moments, if you awkwardly decided that you wanted to end the conversation anyway by saying nothing. The background music would have been soothing, easy or even cheerful. 

But if your comebacks are jokes that makes the conversation less appalling to chew on, the soundtrack would be a serious, intense and depressing. Which you always do so you could laugh at your expense in order to end that dreadful conversation. 

...or you can just push people away. Relief. 

Dear Samael,

You look like you knew me.

 Trying to complete my sentence without a need for reductive measures. Like we've met in our previous life. Wonderful, now that you have found me, you will stay as long as it pleases you.

So now that I have you by my side, it's like you were never gone. 

You are perfect to me, as me to you. 

You present yourself to me wholeheartedly, realizing the imminent death is upon me. How generous I thought, how generous.

Still I believe you. 

I love him now, forever and always. It's something only you could feel from love songs. It's borderline cheesy, even for me. 

Then, I questioned my existence before his appearance.