Heart That Doesn't Look Back

Remember it as though it was yesterday, neglected like a forsaken memory.

I cling on to hope, fighting for the last shred of dignity that somehow it might change you.

Circumstances might deceived you, fooled you, trampled and tarnished you even, where there lie despair, there is also redemption. Circumstances may lead you astray, bruised and wounded but I'm always going to be there to pick you up.

This is not a drill of happiness, this is the last time I'm giving you my all. For you to understand that it wasn't a show that I merely 'performed', I left my heart and soul up on that stage. 

The idea is simple and easy to wrap around actually, I never see that coming until it did. I put your priority on top of mine and it wasn't even the best part. The best part of it all is that I have fallen too deep it seems, with my heart in your hand I relinquish all control.

Bury myself with work, I let time have me wholeheartedly. Unassumingly, I tip toe away, so you won't have to say, never wanting to let you down while I watch you from afar now.

I'm passive, that's a strength I treasured. I'm passive, that's a weakness you've exposed.

The funny thing is that I still think of you when I hear love songs playing... until I don't anymore.

"One tiny comfort at a time.."

Patient Zero

Have you ever wondered when is the best time to let someone go? 

Do you write it down on a note, wake up one morning and decide to do it? Or do you wait with patience or without, surviving base on the slow-burned endurance until you are left with none?

It's a privilege to see through other people's intention before passing the judgement yourself. Be it kind or despicably foul they might be, something never change- Motive.

A similar pattern of someone's personality trait can never be easily altered, let alone their appearance. Something always end up reveling itself...somehow. Trust me, it's a hustle to put up an appearance especially when you're covering one facet with another. 

The point I was going to make is that none of us can be as consistent as one would think. It always takes that one temptation to break us, why do you think we have the word 'alcohol'.

Of course, some takes it more often than other people which could lead them to irreversible consequences. But with the right people by your side who looks after you, sometimes you will be fine. 

You want to avoid heading towards the deep end. You want to protect what is most valuable to you. You want to keep a certain promise and live the bloody up to it. You want to be able to come home at night and have him say: "you did great today, you've work hard, come here.."

Devastation, you want to stop worrying about all this and not go completely bonkers.

Either you tell yourself the good or bad news, it's a deal made between you and the Absolute Being.

Go figure, because he is watching.

Oui

I run towards the light, it was dazzlingly beautiful, your face was beautiful.

The weather is dense, more so than a typical day.

Checking my cell phone so very often, constantly finding the need to see if your name pops up.

My heart isn't fluttered, it pounds at a surprising normal rate, so I thank god for that.

I'm letting all the fears go, in order to have that moment with you.

Quietly I listen to your heartbeat, my arms was around you.

Like a child, you curled up to me, I don't resist.

I don't mind, good things happen to those who wait.

And if you're worthy, I would not just wait, I will fight for you.

I would die to make you mine...

For Better, For Worse

Direct my attention to face you, It was the decency of your tone that I knew I was home. A sudden touch solidified our connection, a withered rose decays. A better time there may be, with you around forever and always. 

"Seek comfort in us.."